


Barry Bluejeans's Enormous Dick

by CrystalCorvuwulf (BlueMoonHound)



Series: The Secret Love Life of Barry Bluejeans [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Fresh Dick, Oral Sex, Trans Character, dick measuring, silly smut, theyre both trans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 15:19:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13504260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueMoonHound/pseuds/CrystalCorvuwulf
Summary: “Sup, Bar?” Lup throws an arm over her chair, raising an eyebrow in his direction.“So, uh. Remember that sex change potion I got ahold of?” He plops himself down on her bed.“Yea, I do. What about it?” She grins. “Do you wanna try out your new dick?”





	Barry Bluejeans's Enormous Dick

“Lup?”

Barry's knocking on her door. He sounds that sort of pained-embarrassed he gets when something oddly sexual happens. She can hear him shifting his legs, too, from through the wood – elf ears are perceptive.

“Hm?”

“Can I come in?”

“Sure, babe.” She closes her pen and her notebook and slides them into the mess of papers on her desk, leaning back in her chair. She'd been working through some of his math bits, fixing a few little mistakes.

Barry walks in and shuts the door behind him. He's moving awkwardly, like his pants don't quite fit right anymore or something. Or he has to piss. Or both.

“Sup, Bar?” Lup throws an arm over her chair, raising an eyebrow in his direction.

“So, uh. Remember that sex change potion I got ahold of?” He plops himself down on her bed.

“Yea, I do. What about it?” She grins. “Do you wanna try out your new dick?”

Barry blushes. “Uhh, well, I...” He stammers, looking a little mortified. He rubs his face with one hand and stares into the middle distance. “Well.”

Her smile drops. He doesn't seem to be looking for sex after all. “What's wrong, Bar? Does it hurt or something? Did something go wrong?” She stands up.

“Ugh, no, this is just – it's _embarrassing_.” His other hand joins the first one on his face, and he _scrubs_. “It's, uh, well, it's, bigger than I expected.”

Lup chokes on an unwelcome guffaw. It's obviously making him uncomfortable, but she can't hold back her incredulity. “How much bigger?”

“I didn't exactly--” Barry laughs then. Lup relaxes. “I didn't _measure_ it, Lup.”

“Hm.” Lup taps her foot, and then goes digging around in a desk drawer. She produces a ruler. “Maybe we should.” She sticks out her tongue.

“Oh my gods, Lup,” he grumbles, but he leans back. “Fuck you, I'm so curious.”

“I measured my dick back when I had one,” Lup says, climbing onto the bed. “I was four inches soft and five hard. Not much of a grower, yeah?”

“That,” Barry says, “Would be TMI.”

“I'm your fucking girlfriend, Babe.” She unbuttons his jeans and pulls down the zipper with a sort of professionalism.

“Point,” Barry says, watching her pull the denim off his thighs. The fabric has softened over the years, rendering it gentle to touch. Barry's soft too, she notes, his chub not having changed too much with his primary sex characteristics. She refrains from touching it, even though she wants to – at least for the first measurement, she wants him flaccid.

His utter nerdiness has rubbed off on her. A lot. She pulls his boxers down.

“Holy shit, dude!” She exclaims. He's fucking _thick_. She takes him in her hand, weighty and soft. He makes a noise of surprise. She pauses, looking up at him, because he hasn't said anything for a little bit.

“You good?”

“I am trying extremely hard,” He bites out, “Not to let myself be aroused. Just _measure it already_.”

“Mmm,” Lup says, feeling self-satisfied. She measures Barry's cock. “Five and a half inches. Hey, I have a challenge for you.”

“What?” Barry asks, letting out a breath. She runs a finger down his length.

“Can you remember two numbers for me?” she grins. “Cause if you don't, I might just have to measure it _again_.”

Barry makes a little squeaky noise. “Y-yeah, I can definitely do that,” he says, but his voice is pitched up. She eyes his face for a moment, noting the blush blooming over it and deciding he knows what he's in for. She smiles and grabs him in earnest, putting the ruler down on the bed next to him. She milks his cock for the little moaning noises he makes when she does it just right, her fingers finding the curly hair on his balls, soft and coarse at the same time. She rolls them in her hand.

“Oh my gods,” Barry gasps. “Oh my gods, I didn't know they could – that I--” he stops mid sentence to breathe in.

Lup turns her attention back to his dick, which – surely, surely it's hard, right? Her brain skips a beat when she sees it, though, because it is _huge_. She throws all her reservations out the window. Barry J. Bluejeans has an _enormous_ cock. She strokes it a few more times, marveling at it more than anything.

“You feeling okay? This thing's enormous,” Lup says.

“Little dizzy,” Barry admits. “S'fine, though.”

“You sure?” She picks up the ruler again anyway, because even if they don't do anything sexy right then and there, at very least she could get in her other dick measurement.

He hums, assessing. “Yeah. Yeah. I, well, I want to try.”

“Sure.” Lup holds the ruler to his length, the measurement coming out at a full ten inches. Ten and a bit, but not enough of a bit for her to be concerned with it. “Ten fucking inches, babe.”

She puts her ruler aside again and licks the bottom of his dick from base to tip. Barry makes a breathy noise, legs jerking.

“Gotta remember those numbers, yeah? Hm?” She rolls her tongue over his slit, tasting the precome. It's not as gross as she remembers it being. It's been a while since she sucked dick, though, so she supposes she may have been imagining it as worse. “Don't forget.”

She wraps her lips around the tip and runs her tongue over it again. She sucks, softly, her left hand reaching for his balls, rolling them over her palm. Barry's legs spasm. He rubs against the bed and whines, jerking up into her face. She lets him, taking a few inches of his shaft into her mouth, running her right hand down the remaining length. He groans above her.

Lup relishes how close he is, the way his face is slack and his body jerks and jolts as she moves. This is Barry, exactly how he wants to be, and it makes her feel so good. She remembers when she finally transitioned back on homeworld. It felt good. Granted, she had used transmutation to transition, not a sex potion, and certainly wasn't ready for sex on the first night with a cootch. She'd really wanted to, too, just to see what it's like. She's glad she can give Barry that.

“Ah-- Lup--” Barry stammers. “Holy fuck I'm--”

“Just let go, babe,” Lup mumbles against him, her hand moving faster as he reaches his climax. He spasms again, back arching, and cries out a little as he comes on her face. She licks some cum off her nose as he collapses back onto the bed.

“That was really fast,” Barry gasps. “Sorry.”

“Don't sweat it, Bar. You've got some fresh ass dick right there.” She doesn't really understand the apology. It's fine, he doesn't have to hold out for her or anything. He didn't even come into her room looking for sex in the first place. She goes looking for a towel to wipe her face off with.

“Five and a half inches, Ten inches,” Barry says, after a few minutes.

“Well shit,” Lup grins at her reflection, cleaning off the last of his jizz. “Good job.”

“You weren't actually gonna make me do that again if I didn't remember, were you,” Barry mumbles. His voice is weighted down with exhaustion.

“Prolly not unless you wanted to, no, sleepy boy,” she says. “I can teach you how to deal with pants tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Barry says. She tucks his dick back into his boxers and fix them back around his waist, then resituates him on the bed so she can crawl in. They bump foreheads.

“Love you,” Barry slurs.

“Love you too, whole ass dick boy,” Lup says. “Go the fuck to sleep.”


End file.
